Self-esteem: An observation of the low, the high and the why

Dare I ask readers to review the following questions? After listening to a dear friend cry for hours over her latest breakup, um, yeah why not? Okay, here it goes. What do you like about yourself? Are you proud of yourself? Can you verbalize the positives about you? If these questions make you feel uncomfortable, or you cannot answer them, there’s a good probability that you have a problem with your self-esteem. Why is that? Why are so many women uncomfortable with themselves? Why are we embarrassed to "esteem" ourselves, to gives us our own pat on the back or to simply see our own strength and beauty?

The fact is that self-esteem comes from the inside out. You cannot buy it. Self-esteem is a core identity issue, essential to personal validation and our ability to experience true happiness and joy. If we can accept and understand that positive self-esteem comes from the inside then we can begin to work towards achieving a positive self-image. We have all witnessed that a woman with a positive self-image is not dependent upon anyone else to make her feel good about herself, because she already knows she's fine just the way she is. She is confident and aware of her strengths and abilities. But by the same token, a woman with a low or negative self image and self-esteem obviously does not feel good about herself and is prone to making poor personal decisions about her life.

So how does a woman end up with low self-esteem? A huge contributor to the low self-esteem of women is the bombardment of media influences towards youth, beauty and slimness. Women's magazines, starting with the teenage market, program us to focus all our efforts on appearance. Such as the plentiful ads for cosmetic surgery and cosmetic products, enticing us to "repair" our aging bodies, as if the natural process of aging were an accident or a disease. Youth cannot last, it is not meant to. If women buy into this image of beauty, then the best an older woman can strive for is looking "good for her age" or worse yet, "well preserved". Mummies are well preserved. Mummies are also dead.

Abusive experiences join with media messages to assault female self-esteem. Abuse is universal and cuts across all socioeconomic lines and for that matter genders as well. It invariably sends a message to the victim that they are worthless. Many, many women and girls have told me that verbal abuse has hurt them far more than any physical act. As one woman put it, "his words scarred my soul." Women whose abuse started as children have the most fragile sense of identity and self worth. Worse yet, low self-esteem passes from mother to daughter. The mother is modeling what a woman is. She is also modeling, for her sons, what a wife is.

A woman with low self-esteem has little or no control over her life. But that can change. These women can get help and emotional healing. It is critical to remember that no one deserves to be abused, including men. If something bad has happened to you, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. The responsibility for the abuse lies with the person who chooses to hurt you. If you are presently in an abusive situation, you must put yours and your children's safety first. Please contact the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for help and guidance.

You can choose your own identity. You can discard the popular cultural image and replace it with something real. Nobody is perfect, but everyone is worthwhile. Believe in yourself and in your own strengths!

Gender Discrimination, Gender Bias and now ... Gender Fatigue?

Perhaps this writer is little behind, until recently I’d never heard of “Gender Fatigue.” Being the curious person that I am, I had to find out what this gender fatigue was. Google is a beautiful thing. Where would we be without Google? Probably blissfully unaware of nauseating terms like, “gender fatigue.” Nonetheless, I found the source of this new label, a study conducted by Elisabeth Kelan, Ph.D., from King’s College London “Gender Fatigue: The Ideological Dilemma of Gender Neutrality and Discrimination in Organizations,” published in the 2010 Canadian Journal of Administrative Science.

Dr. Kelan found that workers acknowledge gender discrimination is possible in modern organizations, but at the same time maintain their workplaces to be gender neutral. Dr. Kelan notes, “Gender fatigue is caused by workers not acknowledging that bias against women occurs. The problem with gender fatigue is that it prohibits productive discussion regarding inequalities between men and women, making gender bias difficult to address. Future studies should explore what happens to gender fatigue over time and whether practical strategies can be developed to shape the way in which people in organizations speak about gender.” The study conducted in 2003-2004, included 26 men and women from two information communication technology companies. Basically what Dr. Kelan’s study states is that gender fatigue happens when gender bias is not acknowledged. This is fantastic. We women can now call our bosses and let them know that we won’t be into work today because we’re suffering from gender fatigue.

Women in the Labor Force: A Databook 2009 Edition published by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics cites, that in 2008 women accounted for 51% of all persons employed in management, professional, and related occupations, somewhat more than their share of total employment at 47%. Further research from the World Economic Forum’s 2009 Gender Gap Report states, “No country in the world has yet managed to eliminate the gender gap.” But the report also states, “Out of the 115 countries covered in the report since 2006, more than two-thirds have posted gains in overall index scores, indicating that the world in general has made progress towards equality between men and women.”

Examining statistics from all three studies can certainly leave one very confused. We can acknowledge that discrimination of every type exists in the workplace but perhaps we should hold-off on using yet another label that divides the genders and focus our energies upon avenues to close the gender gap.

Our Biggest Challenge Is Ourselves

Seeing women succeed in management positions is uplifting. But it is fair to say that the challenges women face in the workplace are still very much as present as 40 years ago. There are certainly some professions that view women and men as equals at all levels, but some professions present more of an obstacle to women. Women are still underrepresented in the senior management level of most professions, particularly those related to finance.

One of the biggest challenges that women still face in the workplace, regardless of their industry, is themselves. We still think we have to be a superwoman and we still attempt to be all things to all people.

An important key to our success is to realize it is not possible to do everything and do it well. We need to plan, prioritize and set realistic expectations as to what we can do. We also need to realize that as more women succeed and gain standing in business, there will be more pressure on women to do it all.

In the global financial and legal industries there is an expectation of long hours and extensive commitment. There is a struggle for power and an expectation to win, all the time. But that doesn’t mean we need to sacrifice the work-life balance but we do need to make a strong effort to keep that balance.

World Economic Forum Annual Meeting 2011

The Annual Meeting of the World Economic Forum in Davos-Klosters is perhaps best known to the world at large simply as "Davos". It is much more than a simple get-together of global leaders from many fields in a Swiss ski resort, however.

The Annual Meeting provides a rethinking of our systems and exploration of strategies and solutions that have positive transformational implications. Particular emphasis will be placed on addressing the question of "How", going beyond analysis and elaborating innovative ideas and solutions to key global challenges.

For more than four decades, the Annual Meeting has provided leaders from industry, government, academia, civil society and the media with an unrivalled platform to shape the global agenda and catalyze solutions at the start of each year.

The diversity and the informal and collaborative "spirit of Davos" mean that, as well as engaging with familiar faces, participants have the chance to connect with people they don’t know, who challenge the way they think and act.

The World Economic Forum Annual Meeting 2011 will go from January 26th to January 30th.

Source: World Economic Forum