Moving Forward

At some point in most people’s lives the experience of losing a job is bound to happen and when it does, it can feel like a death. The way in which we choose to navigate through this experience is vital to our health, happiness and well-being. We can choose to be a victim or a survivor.

Allowing yourself time to go through the stages of loss is necessary but one must also recognize when it’s time to move forward. It can feel far easier to remain wallowing in the loss, placing blame on a rotten boss, a nasty co-worker or constantly second guessing your self-worth. This mind-set may seem easier then taking on the responsibility of moving forward but it is a direct detriment to achieving your goals.

One way to begin moving forward is to identify the core issue. What is stopping you from moving forward? Is it anger or a lack of self-esteem? If you are angry, find a way to forgive. Holding onto anger is not hurting the person that you feel wronged you. As harsh it this may sound, that person has probably forgotten all about you. Perhaps losing your job was a crucial part of your major life plan. Instead of thinking of yourself as a failed end product, think of yourself as a derailed work in progress.

This sounds morbid but when times get tough, write your obituary. Sit down, think hard, and list three things you want people to remember you for. This will help prioritize your life. Then find ways to follow through on your goals.

Another component towards our ability to move forward, in any circumstance, is changing negative self-talk. I’m guilty of downing on myself at times. I SHOULD be “here” at this point in my life. I SHOULDN’T have missed lunch with my friends. I could give a million examples of the negative things that I say to myself. Ultimately, I remember that I like who I am and that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be right now.

Lucinda Bassett summed it up. “DON’T SHOULD ON YOURSELF!”