Our Biggest Challenge Is Ourselves

Seeing women succeed in management positions is uplifting. But it is fair to say that the challenges women face in the workplace are still very much as present as 40 years ago. There are certainly some professions that view women and men as equals at all levels, but some professions present more of an obstacle to women. Women are still underrepresented in the senior management level of most professions, particularly those related to finance.

One of the biggest challenges that women still face in the workplace, regardless of their industry, is themselves. We still think we have to be a superwoman and we still attempt to be all things to all people.

An important key to our success is to realize it is not possible to do everything and do it well. We need to plan, prioritize and set realistic expectations as to what we can do. We also need to realize that as more women succeed and gain standing in business, there will be more pressure on women to do it all.

In the global financial and legal industries there is an expectation of long hours and extensive commitment. There is a struggle for power and an expectation to win, all the time. But that doesn’t mean we need to sacrifice the work-life balance but we do need to make a strong effort to keep that balance.

Is Our Anger Viewed Differently?

A woman and her husband are dining out with a group of friends, the service is horrible, the food is horrible and requests from the table are met by a smarmy attitude from the waiter. The bill arrives with gratuities included. Finally she has had enough. She complains to the maître d’ and demands that the bill is changed to reflect the substandard service. The other couples are shocked and embarrassed that this woman complained and furthermore requested a discount on the bill. If this had been her husband’s action, would the couples have reacted the same? Another woman is at work, the stress to meet a deadline is hanging over her head like the Sword of Damocles and her assistant asks a question that the woman has already answered several times. Suddenly she snaps and harshly spouts off about necessity to pay attention. This woman’s colleagues are shocked and frown upon her actions. Yet, just one day earlier, a male colleague exuded a similar display of emotion and no one so much as blinked an eye.

Violent outbursts of anger are not what I’m speaking of and those, male or female, that display such behaviors need to check themselves. Daily life is stressful and each of us is most likely going to hit the anger button on occasion. People get angry all the time in a variety of situations but is a woman’s anger viewed differently? How many times have you witnessed a woman get angry and also witnessed the reactions of others? How many times have you said, “She’s just hormonal” or even said that about yourself? Why is a woman’s display of anger seen as “emotional” or “hormonal” but a man displaying the same actions is seen as “just being a typical male”?

Maybe it’s time to set the record straight. Anger is not an exclusive, God given, male emotion. If a women is angry it aint cause she’s hormonal or overly emotional, you probably screwed something up that she now has to fix! ;-)

Are we stereotyping ourselves?

Last week, I received a phone call from a girlfriend who holds the position of CEO at a relatively decent sized company. She had called to vent about woman-to-woman jealousies within her office and how she feels that she is perceived as having “Queen Bee Syndrome.” During our conversation, I took a very supportive stance. But our conversation really got me thinking about stereotypes of women in the workplace.

I sought out to find the male perspective and found that the majority of men, which I spoke with, believe the typical stereotypes that women are catty, less efficient and the worst, that women in positions of authority are generally bitchy. I’ve spent a good portion of my career in “male dominated” industries. If we are catty, less efficient and bitchy, I wonder what the terminology is for those same male behaviors.

As women we need to stop using stereotypical terminologies if we expect men to stop perceiving us this way!

Women and Stress Management

At some point a 70-hour workweek became the minimum standard, not only to get ahead but also often just to keep up. In my previous position as a COO, I never left work even after I’d left the office. Regarding that job, I don’t know from hours and I was not attempting to establish my career so I can only imagine the pressure that is placed upon anyone attempting to establish themselves. Of course with today’s current economic situation and job market, establishing a career may be a dream versus simply gaining viable employment.

As women we’re often breadwinners and the main caretakers. We all know how difficult this balancing act can be and the enormous stress that is placed upon us. Anyone currently seeking employment will tell you that alone is a full-time job and the stress can be doubled in this situation.

It is essential for us to take care of ourselves and reducing the stressors in our lives is an achievable goal. In order to reduce our daily stress, surprise, even this takes work and planning. But the end results are well worth it.

• Start with getting enough rest. Our bodies and minds don’t function at full speed without it. I have first hand knowledge of this. ;-)
• Organize your day, as you would if you were employed. You still have doctor’s appointments, grocery shopping and general household management to contend with. How did manage to accomplish these tasks while you were employed?
• Exercise! No, I’m not a huge fan of “conventional” exercise and you’ll never find me in a gym but I know the benefits of remaining physically active. Plus, physical activity is still FREE! For those that enjoy “conventional” exercise, many communities are now offering FREE classes; take look in your local newspaper.
• Give your body proper fuel. Learn healthy eating habits. When I was working a 70-80 hour week, I was on a first name basis with the owner’s of every take-out joint in my area. This was convenient but unhealthy for my body and my wallet. Home cooked meals are indeed healthier and far less expensive. Trifecta – Savings, Health and new hobby?
• Take time for yourself. Read a book (the library is still FREE), listen to music or go lock yourself in a room if you need to.